By Jagun Quareeb Alabi
Traditional weddings like Igba Nkwu are meant to be filled with music, dancing, and family joy. But when you have a sibling with muscular dystrophy (MD) or another neuromuscular condition, excitement can mix with fear. You want them to be fully part of the day, not just sitting alone in the back, watching life happen without them.
Seeing the day through their eyes
Before you think about Asọ-Ẹbí and decoration for the day, consider whether your sibling can move comfortably in this venue. Are there ramps or only stairs? Is there a place for them to rest without missing anything? These questions are not about pity; they show respect and love. Accessibility clearly communicates,“You belong here with us, not outside looking in.”
Talk with them, not for them.
Do not assume you know what your sibling wants. Sit down and ask, “What part of the wedding matters most to you?” or “How long do you think you can stay before getting tired?” Some may want to be in the front row. Others might ask for a quiet exit plan. The most powerful kind of inclusion is planned together, not done on their behalf in silence.
Let them shine in their own way.
Dancing is not the only way to show enjoyment at a wedding. Your sibling can give a short speech, say a prayer, bless the couple, help choose music or outfits, or sit at the high table. When they are honored instead of hidden away, the whole family says, “Your body may be weak, but your value is strong.” Disability does not remove a person’s role in the family story, it only challenges the family to write that story differently, It only asks the family to arrange that place in a new way.
Imagine this: the bride is called out to dance, and your brother in a wheelchair is still at the back. Instead, you ask the MC to invite him forward, sit him near the couple, and mention him by name. A simple change like this can turn a painful memory into a happy one he will never forget.
Handling stares and rude questions
At a big events, people will stare or ask rude questions like, “What happened to him?” You do not need to confront everyone, but you can protect your sibling. A calm response, such as, “He has a neuromuscular condition and he is fine, thank you,” sets a clear boundary. After that, you can then return to enjoying the day. Over time, every calm answer becomes a quiet lesson to the community about dignity.
A quiet but powerful choice
You cannot change a genetic condition, but you can change how your family plans this wedding. Many brothers and sisters of people with MD feel scared of “doing the wrong thing,” but small, thoughtful actions on days like this already mean a lot. When you insist on ramps, space, and honour for your sibling, you are showing real strength. Every inclusive Igba Nkwu sends a message: “Disability is not a shame. It is part of our family story, and we will celebrate together.” Love is not shown by how loudly we dance, but by who we refuse to leave behind when the music starts.
If your family is dealing with muscular dystrophy or another neuromuscular condition in Nigeria, FFNS offers education, support, and advocacy. Visit our Contact page to reach us or join our community
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